What a difference a day makes

Yesterday was chemo day and the first day of an entirely new treatment. We finished late in the afternoon and arrived home exhausted at about 5:00 p.m.

It wasn't long before I began to feel much stronger. Newly energised and much healthier.

Today has been pretty good too. Up at 6:00 a.m. Two of my sons are driving down to Knysna and I was up to pack the cooler bags. We will be joining them for over two weeks after a short flight on Thursday. Feeling well is certainly a help. The discomfort and lack of energy of just a few days ago seems to have gone - for now! The day carried on with visits to the vet, the airport, the shops, the pharmacy and the bank. My pans for a braai (barbecue) fell through because of the weather so my steaks were simply grilled.

The boys have stopped for the night at Graaf Reinet, about four hour away from the destination. Tomorrow we must ach and prepare whatever we need for the trip.

Knysna is in the Western Cape, on the famous garden route. It lies on a lagoon, the entrance of which is maked by enormous heads. Photos will follow. I am also looking forward to exploring the elephant park and other places of interest in the area.

What a difference a few hours have made to the way that I feel! I just hope it continues.

A long, tough week

A tough week. Discomfort in the abdomen, poor digestion and bloatedness. On Wednesday I arrived for my chemo and did the blood tests. Then we waited for ages. The doctor apologized, he wanted time to talk and had to get through the chemo patients first. The marker had changed significantly, so the next step was an ultrasound scan.

Two people did the scan. The most significant result was that the lesions in the liver had grown, but they were still in the liver.

Back to the doctor, and a new treatment beginning tomorrow. Now I must hope that the new treatment will be effective. It seems that for four months the previous treatment kept my condition stable, so it worked for a while. Now I can feel the lesions. After the podding during the scan they became quite painful.

So here I am hoping that I'll be reenergised again and that the discomfort will go.

on a slightly different note

Did I overstate my case? I know that I am not the only person that objects to using the terminology of terminal illness. The phrase has a decidedly deathly ring to it. When you have a terminal illness you are going to die. Everything until that point is just a wait for death. Even though I am more likely to die from this cancer than from any other cause, I could live for another ten years or more. No one knows.

In any event, writing about the issue certainly put an end to being upset.

My son believes that the psychologist wanted me to face the fact that I am going to die. At some point in the session I told him (the psychologist) that you could only face death when it happens. I don't think he agreed.

Days later. The tiredness and low energy that lasted till the weekend seems to have gone. Yesterday managed shopping, saw a movie - 50:50, managed some shopping and a meeting in the evening.

50:50 was an interesting film. Unfortunately we had to shiver in a very cold cinema while the temperature outside touched 35 degrees Celcius (why can't I find a degree symbol on the iPad?). The film is about a young guy that gets cancer. Interesting in part with a Hollywood decreed happy ending. There was much that we could relate to though.

I bought a pack of hand sanitisers! Something that I would have rejected as bordering on paranoia not so long ago. I keep them to wipe my hands when I have had to shake lots of people's hands. In my book this is not recommended for normal people. Just for the likes of me who have become prone to infection through chemotherapy. One guy was clearly sick with a streaming nose. I refused to shake his hand.

So I have been feeling strong once again. Tomorrow it's time for chemotherapy. That is a positive thing. I feel energised for a few days until the fatigue sets in. Perhaps it is the cortisone that makes all that energy available. The doctor says that my condition is stable. Another positive. No need for me to focus on dying!

sleepless in sydenham

It is fast approaching 2:00 a.m. One of those nights. Had chemotherapy earlier and am now unable to sleep. Perhaps it has something to do with all the extra sleep I got over the last week. Now I don't need it. The reality is that it is probably the result of an overactive mind.

Yesterday we received some good news, but it was a trivial issue that got me upset and sparked the lack of sleep. Or maybe it is just one of those nights that I am destined to lie in bed sleepless for hours. I certainly do get them from time to time.

By the way, I am writing this on my Galaxy. I have already lost about five posts written on the iPad. There seems to be little chance of getting around the problem.

Feeling fine today I have another week off next week. A time for some of the side-effects to go away. Then there is our trip to Knysna in December. Something to look forward to and a great photo opportunity.

It is interesting to note that even under these somewhat trying times that life is good!

online again

It has been a rather frantic time. Renovations, no matter how small are always disruptive. Then there is the waiting.

Back to chemo again tomorrow. The last session was Monday a week ago. I thought that I understood the pattern but with each passing week I get to understand the pattern better. The final realization is that there is no pattern. Each time, the effect may be unique. Chemo on Monday. I felt alive and energised on Monday and Tuesday. Then on Wednesday afternoon WHAM! Out for the count. Now where this is changing from previous weeks is that for much of Thursday and Friday the fatigue remained. I returned to feeling fully normal on Sunday. Well almost.

Then there is the question of side effects. There are some that I don't get and some that I do. I have intimate experience with the fatigue. I have also had extensive, itchy skin rashes from the other chemo that comes as a tablet.

But you discover more and more as you go. Just because you have been lucky enough to escape one of the primary side effects for three months doesn't mean you'll escape it next time. So when I say that I don't get nausea and vomiting (well hardly ever), it doesn't mean that I won't.

Looking forward to our holiday in December. Two and a half weeks away from everything and a nice break from the chemo. Then, I guess, its all back to normal.

My condition at present is stable. I look okay and am apparently doing well for someone with pancreas cancer.  It is all down to staying positive (well, that plays a part) or as the doctor says, "it depends on the patient".