The night is hot. I have been tossing and turning, my mind working through issues.
Something that seems to have upset me was Thursday morning's counselling session. During the course of the hour long session, the psychologist referred to me having a 'terminal illness' at least a dozen times. I don't believe that the use of this terminology is helpful. For one thing, I am trying to beat this thing. Then he came back to my prognosis. The Oncology Centre does not give a prognosis "because we don't know" as they put it.
As for me, I have not been focusing on death or on how long I have left. My focus is on life and prolonging my life and health for as long as is possible. The life expectancy and response to chemotherapy very much "depends on the patient" as the doctor likes to put it. But that seems to be of paramount importance to the psychologist. What is your prognosis? He cannot understand that there is none. He would even like me to see another doctor to get a prognosis!
I have decided not to return to counselling under these circumstances. To me, these sessions have become destructive. They do not help. I want to focus on maintaining my health and improving it where possible. Like everyone else, I will die at an undetermined date in the future. It will not help me or anyone else to be told that I have three or six or even seventeen months left.
Perhaps my wakeful state can be put to rest.
Something that seems to have upset me was Thursday morning's counselling session. During the course of the hour long session, the psychologist referred to me having a 'terminal illness' at least a dozen times. I don't believe that the use of this terminology is helpful. For one thing, I am trying to beat this thing. Then he came back to my prognosis. The Oncology Centre does not give a prognosis "because we don't know" as they put it.
As for me, I have not been focusing on death or on how long I have left. My focus is on life and prolonging my life and health for as long as is possible. The life expectancy and response to chemotherapy very much "depends on the patient" as the doctor likes to put it. But that seems to be of paramount importance to the psychologist. What is your prognosis? He cannot understand that there is none. He would even like me to see another doctor to get a prognosis!
I have decided not to return to counselling under these circumstances. To me, these sessions have become destructive. They do not help. I want to focus on maintaining my health and improving it where possible. Like everyone else, I will die at an undetermined date in the future. It will not help me or anyone else to be told that I have three or six or even seventeen months left.
Perhaps my wakeful state can be put to rest.
Hi there!
ReplyDeleteI have a quick question about your blog! Please email me when you get a chance.
Melanie